When the folks from Emotional Bliss sent out a promotional e-mail describing their new Heat line of massagers, I never thought I would be blessed enough to actually receive once of their products. Lo and behold, the wonderful higher-ups sent me a Womolia Heat to review, and I found myself eagerly awaiting this high-end toy with the same excitement a child feels on Christmas Eve.

Of course, my package's arrival was not without its hiccups. I came home from work one day and saw DHL's bright yellow "we missed you" slip on my door, and I panicked a little. The only things I order that come via DHL are Bollywood movies, and I was terrified that maybe somebody had nudged their way in to my account and wracked up charges on my credit card. I looked up the tracking number and...oh, DUH. How could I forget that Emotional Bliss is UK-based?! I signed the back of the slip and stuck it to my door the next morning on my way to work.

Several hours later, I received a phone call from a rather timid delivery man. "Hello, this is DHL, I have package for you."

"I signed the slip...oh, did it blow off?"

"Yeah, it must've blown off in the storm. Ahhh...do you want me to leave your--" he paused to read the label on the package, and his voice got VERY quiet --"electronic vibratory device at your door?"

The poor man! It was storming that day, so he probably didn't want the package's contents to get ruined and decided to see if they were waterproof. As mean as it sounds, I almost laughed out loud at his embarassment. "Yes, you can leave the vibrator there."

First class, baby!

 

I finally got back to my apartment and rushed to see if my Womolia Heat had arrived, safe and sound. Bless the DHL man, he shoved it on the lip of my door frame, completely out of the rain, and the package was bone dry. I ripped open the box immediately, and there, nestled tightly in a brown shipping box, was my beautiful, beautiful Womolia Heat.

The Womolia Heat is packaged in a simple light blue box with the company logo on the top. Pushing out the cardboard tray reveals your Womolia, carefully packaged with air bags and protective wrappings, as well as a charger (yes, this toy is rechargeable!), two small blue bottles of lubricant (one silicone-based, one water-based), and a manual.

I admit it: this manual turns me on.

 

All Emotional Bliss toys come with this incredibly detailed, informative manual. This manual not only includes operation instructions, but it also provides in-depth information on how the human body works and lists a wide range of ways in which your massager may be utilized. Considering how hard it is to get a toy that includes something as minimal as battery insertion instructions, I think that's pretty impressive. The manual also uses a chart ("COLOR-CODED CHART!" the nerd in me squees,) to lay out the Womolia's functions and settings.

Hello, lovely.

 

But we'll get to the settings in a minute! First thing's first: the design. The toy is about 8" long. The body is curved, helping it fit to your body, and is made out of white hard plastic. The charging port is on the back of the plastic body. The blue portions of the toy that make up the head (the part you actually stimulate yourself with) and the control panel are made out of TPE, a material I usually think smells pretty funky. This must be magical TPE, though, because it doesn't have a smell to it, and it feels absolutely fantastic, kind of like silicone. The manual also claims that the toy's materials have anti-bacterial agents that are activated by water, which is pretty spiffy.

There are 3 buttons on the control panel. Unlike cheaper massagers, the Womolia doesn't expect you to cycle through with a single button: there's a plus and a minus button to change the function and the speed, as well as a separate on/off button.

Again, the Womolia Heat is rechargeable, but it takes a hearty chunk of time to get it ready for use. Before you even think about turning your Womolia on, make sure you charge it for 12 hours straight. A bright blue LED light that appears just about the control panel helps you gauge how much of your battery life is left. Call me a ninny, but I think the internal LED light (versus an external LED light) really adds to the Womolia's design.

COLOR-CODED CHART!

 

After an agonizingly long 12 hours have passed, you can play with your Womolia Heat's settings. The settings are described in explicit detail in the manual. Essentially, there are 4 functions--constant, pulse, saw, triangle--and multiple speeds. As you up the speed on your toy, the amount of heat it produces also goes up. So, for example, the toy will only get a little warm if you put it on the lowest pulsing level, but it'll get very warm if you put it on the highest pulsing level. If you REALLY want to make sure your Womolia Heat heats up, you can follow Emotional Bliss' suggestion and leave the toy on, uncovered, on its highest setting for 10-15 minutes prior to your play session.

Honestly, letting the toy cook up a bit beforehand is a good idea if you want to get the full effect of the heating function: this is a super-powerful vibrator, so it's hard to last more than 15 minutes when you're masturbating with it. Some people may disagree with me, but I think the Womolia Heat's highest settings are close to (if not just as powerful as) the low setting on the Hitachi. Its lowest settings aren't nearly as strong, but they're still moderately powerful, so more sensitive users may want to keep their underwear on when they use the Womolia.

You do not fool me, Womolia. I see your grooves and bitty pockmarks!

 

The Womolia Heat is too big and too full of grooves for comfortable insertion, but its functionality as an external vibrator more than makes up for that. You can use the very tip of the toy to apply pinpoint stimulation to your clitoris, p-spot, etcetera, or you can press the whole head against your body for broader-reaching vibrations. The textured head is soft enough that pushing with the Womolia doesn't hurt, but because the body of the toy is made out of plastic, its firm enough that you can get a LOT of pressure going on. Perhaps the best thing about the Womolia is that it's nigh on impossible to accidentally hit a button during use: the buttons take a firm press to work, and the body of the Womolia is relatively wide. That may not seem like a big deal, but one of the things I hear a lot of people complaining about is a poorly-placed control panel.

And the heat feature? Oh, it's yummy. I was afraid the heat would be similar to the heat on a Hitachi when it's been on for too long, but it's actually a deeper, more sensual heat (obviously, it's a bit hard to describe). The Womolia Heat doesn't get hot all over, either; the body of the toy stays cool during use while the head slowly warms up. Whereas a hot Hitachi clearly feels like a toy that's running its motors too hard, the Womolia Heat's warmth just feels pleasurable.

The heat function is especially nice if you want to use the Womolia for a sexy massage session. There's a reason there are so many warming lotions out on the market! The Womolia is compatible with all types of lubricants, so feel free to rub it along your partner's oiled body, allowing the vibrations and the warmth to turn their muscles in to mush.

 

Excuse me while I gush my love all over your screen.

 

Masturbating with this toy for the first time was, without a doubt, one of the most incredible things I have ever experienced. I'm usually very quiet when I orgasm because I clench my teeth and am still somewhat connected to the world around me, meaning I can't exactly lose myself in the moment without feeling like a bit of an ass. The Womolia is the first toy to make me REALLY talk like a porn star during orgasm. Yes, I still clenched my teeth, it's a REFLEX, and I certainly wasn't shouting, but I distinctly remember losing myself completely to the orgasm and saying something along the lines of, "Uh...shit...ooo!" Afterward, all I could do was look at my Womolia Heat and say, "Well, THAT'S new."

I figured it was a fluke. I was watching a hot DP scene with James Deen, one of my absolute favorite porn stars, and I wasn't used to the heat function yet. The honeymoon would soon wear off, and I would be back to my normal strong-but-silent orgasms. "'Tis a fluke!" I told myself.

Nope. I've gotten louder, to the point where, on several ocassions, my body gave the teeth-clenching a pass and instead prompted me to scream my lungs out. And while some of my toys may give me stronger, more numbing, more leg-shaking orgasms, the orgasms I achieve with the Womolia Heat are much deeper. I use this toy and I come so hard, I don't give a shit if a nuclear bomb is about to drop: I'm completely lost in the moment, out of my mind from the feeling of it.

Oh, great. Now I sound like a Harlequinn Romance novelist.

 

Let's be honest here.

Unfortunately, there are a number of downsides to this toy. First, the minor stuff. The Womolia has a lot of grooves in its plastic, plus some minor pockmarks in the rubber. This doesn't effect the stimulation the toy provides, but it can make cleaning a bit difficult. The Womolia Heat is also a loud toy, and while you have to charge it for ages to get it up to running speed, a full 12-hour charge barely lasts for 2 hours. (These two faults are mostly excused by the sheer power of the toy, in my opinion.) Finally, there's the matter of cost. Emotional Bliss makes high-end products, and while they ARE made to last, they don't come cheap.

There are some much more serious downsides as well. First and foremost, the charging port on the back of the Womolia Heat is wide open. It doesn't have a cover or a case or anything, the jack for the charger just sits out in the open. Considering it's recommended you clean your Womolia Heat with gentle soap and water, not cleaners or wipes--which can break down the toy's materials--leaving the charging port open is dangerous. I mean, you're practically BEGGING for some water to slip down in there mid-cleaning.

The biggest downside to the Womolia Heat is also its biggest strength: the heat function. Yes, the heat function rocked my socks. But...it isn't a separate function. If you want to use the Womolia without the heat function (which I can't imagine happening often, since it really does feel great), you're shit out of luck. A toy at this price range really should have a separate button to turn the heat function on and off at the user's will.

So objectively, the Womolia Heat is a bit of a failed experiment. It's an expensive toy with a lot of surprising limitations, like a heat feature that can't be turned on/off at will and a wide-open charging port that provides the potential for major damage if your hands slip during cleaning. Yes, it's well-made, powerful, and actually has a heat function, but considering other toys in the same price range are more protected from water damage and are made from sterilizable materials, the Womolia Heat's score has to take a hit.

But subjectively? I love this toy. I worship it. It is absolutely perfect for me: the texture of the head grabs my skin when it's dry and slides across it beautifully when it's lubed up, the tip can poke my exposed clitoris or I can press the whole head hard against my vulva without hurting myself, the heat feels absolutely divine, and I never need to go above a medium-strength setting to have incredibly satisfying orgasms. I may have to dock points from this toy in my official review because of its technical shortcomings, but in the back of my mind, I know where my next orgasm is coming from, and I consider the Womolia Heat a personal perfect 10.

 

8 out of 10. Lovingly provided by Emotional Bliss.